First, a recap of "my weight story" if you will - posted in January 2014.
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PREVIOUS:
I can tell myself over and over again that weight is not the most important part of this journey; and it's not. However, that doesn't mean it's not important or a part of the journey. It likely will always be, because a long time ago I fell into the trap that made me care about the number on the scale. It has been a constant part of the puzzle for me and I just don't see it going anywhere. At least not without finding some contentment.
The first time I felt I had to get serious about losing weight was in 2008. That year, I lost 15 pounds in 4 months after I started a thyroid medication, quit drinking pop, and increased my physical activity. After those initial 15 pounds, I maintained for several months before gaining all 15 pounds back. That year I went from 179 to around 165 pounds. By the time we finally got pregnant with our daughter in 2009, I was back to 180 pounds.
After my pregnancy, I quickly dropped to my pre=pregnancy weight but did not immediately get into a good routine to lose anymore. By December 2011, a year and a half after our daughter was born, I had hit an all time high of 193 pounds. I got serious about losing the weight once again. By August 2012, I had lost 27 pounds and was down to 166 pounds.
Last fall, two additional fertility treatments took all of my physical and emotional energy. I had just ran my first half-marathon and let my training slip to put my focus elsewhere. I gained 5 pounds back. From January to March, I got back into a routine that involved more strength training and fitness classes than running. I gained 5 more pounds back before trying our third unsuccessful attempt of giving our daughter a sibling. Once again, I found myself weighing 179 pounds.
I thought for sure I would be able to lose it this past summer, but despite running 300+ miles and training for my second half-marathon, I didn't lose a single pound! How does that happen!??! At the start of this school year, I started a new job. After three weeks off between finishing one job and starting another, it was a great opportunity to start fresh. Get into a good routine. Pack sensible lunches. Etc. Between Labor Day weekend and Thanksgiving break, I lost 10 pounds with some ease. Since turkey day, I have yo-yo'd between 168 and 173. There is little rhyme or reason from one end to the other. What is it with this upper-160 mark? It is the third time I have gotten there and plateaued.
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CURRENT:
Really, from when I wrote that last January to this January working out was just a given. I trained for and ran my first marathon. I made cross training a priority last summer and fall after running Grandma's Marathon, and I think that contributed hugely to the toning and strength I could tell I was gaining during that time. I maintained my weight in the upper 160s during that time, but I felt strong! I felt good.
I've already posted about what led to the recent weight gain - crazy workload, mom hospitalized, two fertility treatments. At first I was somewhat surprised with the fact that my workouts decreased but I was able to maintain my weight. The first five or ten pounds were put on very slowly. Then suddenly - bam! - 10 more pounds. Before I knew it the scale was reading 194. I couldn't believe I was back at my highest weight from late 2011. I carry my weight in my mid-section, so I didn't immediately notice that my clothes weren't fitting right (pants anyway). Slowly I started wearing shirts that were feeling tight. My smallest pants not fitting. I have a couple pairs of shorts from last summer I can't wear this year. On top of dealing with the events of the winter/spring, I was disappointed with myself and not feeling good.
Like I've said, finally, just before Memorial Day, I decided that even if I wasn't feeling better emotionally, I was going to take control physically. Deep down I knew the latter would help the prior. I was also optimistic that getting back on track would give immediate results on the scale.
It hasn't.
Every Monday since then, I've done an official weigh-in. Though I told myself I wasn't going to, I've tracked during the week, too. I can't believe the difference at times. Mondays in the summer are likely not a good time to weigh-in. I don't have the healthiest habits while traveling and having those Sundays as rest days, I feel set me up for disappointment. Still, I'm too OCD and stubborn to change my weigh-in day!
Here's how I've weighed up this summer:
Staring weight - Memorial Day 5/25: 194.8
Week 1 6/1: 196.4
Week 2 6/8: 195.6
Week 3 6/15: 195.6
Week 4 6/22: 197.6; 6/25: 193.4
Week 5 6/29: 194.2; 7/1: 192.8
Week 6 7/6: 194.4; 7/9: 194.4
I was surprised this week to see I maintained from Monday to Thursday - I fully expected to see a decrease - I've worked really hard this week!
Clearly, I haven't seen the results on the scale. I am hoping it will come. Like suddenly, when my body realizes we've done this before, it will naturally lose the weight. I am secretly (not anymore) hoping losing for the 4th time will somehow help me push through the upper 160 plateau I seem to hit.
But I also know I just need to focus on the here and now. Do what I can. Push myself. Make smart choices.
I am determined to get there. I just have to give it the time. I didn't put the weight back on in a month, and I can't expect myself to lose it in that time frame either.
Ultimately, I want was is easiest to measure (weight) to reflect that I feel better, that I am running again, that I am getting faster again with each workout, and that I am getting my strength back. Those, I know, are the real victories. It's just nice to have that reflected!
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Have you ever struggled with weight gain/loss? Body image?
Any secrets to success to share?
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